always.

20100711

*rant*

HEY YOU.

Yes you.

I will make you the least of my worries and I won't let you get in the way of happiness.

I will stop worrying about you because I really don't have to worry about you. I wish for our happiness and I really don't care how this ends up. I just want US to be happy without me ever worrying about you, and if he is happy with me, then fine, I will go on with being happy with him. I just don't want to over-think about you because all I let you do is make my heart break and my life miserable and I know it makes him feel bad. So yes, from now on I will choose to just be happy.

Labels: rant

20100628

HELLO BLOG. I AM ITCHING FOR A NEW TATTOO.

HAI.

I have been itching for a new tattoo (actually a continuation of my lotus piece). I miss the rush and the pain of getting inked how nice it looks after it heals, plus I have friends who just got inked this month.

I forgot how painful my throat was for the last two weeks. And now I'm craving for pain again.

...IBA NAMAN TO.

Anyhooo. I'm all better now. But since I've been eating sweets (and cake. Lots of cake) lately, my throat is... hurting a bit. I should take it easy.

There, I'm all better now, and more pressured to find a job soon. I'm running out of cash and I wish I bought a new phone with my money. But then again, I wouldn't get to go out if I did that. Oh well. It's done.

If I land this freelance thing tomorrow, I MIGHT GET A NEW TATTOO SOON. I'm not sure. lol

20100626

How exactly do you move on?

20100615

strange update

Hello bloggie. <3

My tonsillectomy went great. Today's my 4th day after the operation and I can say I am recovering quite well. I still feel pain, but really not as much as it hurt during the first couple of days after the operation. I'm doing okay, though I still can't eat much (nor speak nor laugh for that matter), and I'm still not allowed to gag or cough. (Yea. I feel like I'm not human for a week.) I'm on a cold liquid diet (I'm not allowed to eat hot/warm food) for at least 10 days (and it includes ice cream. LOTS OF ICE CREAM.) I'm kinda sick of having just soup, so I'm trying to eat noodles and oatmeal. I think I'm growing a little weak from my diet. But I've lost 5lbs in 4 days. TRUDAT!

Oh, oh, oh. Today is my Nanay(lola)'s birthday. Happy birthday Nanay. I really miss you. I wish you could've been around to see me now. I know I grew up strange, but I think you'll still be proud of me. I love you. <3 (P.S. please keep the mumu away. xD)

She's the one who brought me up. Long story. Ayoko magdrama, sa totoo lang. I've been telling that story over and over, and every time I do, feeling ko may paawa effect. And I really don't like that people think I'm telling that story just because I want to be pitied on. Oh no, I hate being weak in everyone's eyes. I'm too tired of seen as someone who's weak.

ANYHOO. I'm still recovering but I did a photoshoot today. And I have tons of photos to edit starting tomorrow. Tralala. I also wanna go to UST and attend class again. I'm so rusty. I wanna go to school just to do something creative. I MISS SCHOOL.

20100607

I just came back home from an Anvaya weekend with Dad's (high school) friends. Cool bunch of people. I finally met Tito Ipe's daughter, Phoebe. She's the only one my age in the house, and she was pretty cool. Too bad she's leaving for California at the end of the month. The trip was fun. It was drizzling, but I still enjoyed it very much (except for the beach. Water was too... murky.)

I also had my follow up check-up today. My doctor wants to take my tonsils out asap. I'll be admitted at the UST Hospital on Thursday afternoon and she'll take 'em out on Friday afternoon. I'll be staying there 'til Sunday morning. I'm kinda excited.

20100531

Guess what, I'M SICK AGAIN

So, yesterday I had my follow-up check-up with my favoritest favorite doctor. (She's all cute and bubbly and hyper. I like herrr. :3) Well, regarding my tonsils, turns out I need another week of antibiotics to clear up the remaining pus in my tonsils. Yuck, I know. How the hell that happened? Weather, pollution, and I don't know. Oh well. We have to take my tonsils out as soon as the infection clears up since it's pretty much recurring. The bacteria and virus could make its way down to my heart. Oh my poor heart, damaged by silly bacteria deciding to attack my tonsils. Really. I google-d everything up, and as my doctor told me, I could develop heart disease. As if random panic attacks and palpitations aren't enough. Really, I'm tired of being sick and unhealthy and weak. WEAK. :| *sigh*

So anyhoo, I'm excited. I wanna get my tonsils out and be better soon. Btw, the operation will be bloody. So I have to be ready for it. No more missing scheduled meds. No sweets for a month. Just water, water, and lots and lots of water. I'll be either at UST Hospital or Medical City (not sure which Medical City) prolly next week. I'll update after my third check-up.

This also means I can't go jobhunting yet. I have to get better before I look for jobs. :( Money.

20100527

Hello almost lover,

There's nothing more left to do

but to trust the unknown.

I am afraid.

I admit that I am incredibly terrified.

But what more can I do?

I have to let go.

I'll stay strong.

But I'm not leaving.

Not an inch. :)


Hello. Welcome to my Happy Blog! I'm a ~~Student~~ - Visual Artist - Photographer. (And I'm dreaming to become a tattoo artist soon.) WISHLIST ♥ MORE Tattoos Tattoo machine (with power source. Custom tattoo machine ~~My very own room!~~ SOMETHING REAL My own studio. New lens for my 50D. WORLD PEACE LOL Beats by Dr Dre ( I will forever love you if you'd give me one ♥ ) HAPPINESS Snow Leopard upgrade ZUNE ~~guitar hero buddy~~ Trip to Germany + ticket to Oomph's concert. Trip to wherever Muse will play WAVEBOARD LUCK <a href="http://www.formspring.me/bbngstrawberry">http://www.formspring.me/bbngstrawberry</a> Flickr, by yours truly. dA, by yours truly. Multiply, by yours truly. Plurk, by yours truly. Nica, teh CyberHyper Buddy. Khan, teh Clone Aiwa, teh Kulit. Pabs, teh long lost friend. E.mman, teh great illustrator. Maria, teh vocalist and besfrond. April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 Bituwin - template Dementee - image Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls. hit counter	20100711 rant HEY YOU. Yes you. I will make you the least of my worries and I won't let you get in the way of happiness. I will stop worrying about you because I really don't have to worry about you. I wish for our happiness and I really don't care how this ends up. I just want US to be happy without me ever worrying about you, and if he is happy with me, then fine, I will go on with being happy with him. I just don't want to over-think about you because all I let you do is make my heart break and my life miserable and I know it makes him feel bad. So yes, from now on I will choose to just be happy. Labels: rant 11:16:00 PM · 20100628 HELLO BLOG. I AM ITCHING FOR A NEW TATTOO. HAI. I have been itching for a new tattoo (actually a continuation of my lotus piece). I miss the rush and the pain of getting inked how nice it looks after it heals, plus I have friends who just got inked this month. I forgot how painful my throat was for the last two weeks. And now I'm craving for pain again. ...IBA NAMAN TO. Anyhooo. I'm all better now. But since I've been eating sweets (and cake. Lots of cake) lately, my throat is... hurting a bit. I should take it easy. There, I'm all better now, and more pressured to find a job soon. I'm running out of cash and I wish I bought a new phone with my money. But then again, I wouldn't get to go out if I did that. Oh well. It's done. If I land this freelance thing tomorrow, I MIGHT GET A NEW TATTOO SOON. I'm not sure. lol 5:23:00 AM · 20100626 How exactly do you move on? 8:45:00 AM · 20100615 strange update Hello bloggie. <3 My tonsillectomy went great. Today's my 4th day after the operation and I can say I am recovering quite well. I still feel pain, but really not as much as it hurt during the first couple of days after the operation. I'm doing okay, though I still can't eat much (nor speak nor laugh for that matter), and I'm still not allowed to gag or cough. (Yea. I feel like I'm not human for a week.) I'm on a cold liquid diet (I'm not allowed to eat hot/warm food) for at least 10 days (and it includes ice cream. LOTS OF ICE CREAM.) I'm kinda sick of having just soup, so I'm trying to eat noodles and oatmeal. I think I'm growing a little weak from my diet. But I've lost 5lbs in 4 days. TRUDAT! Oh, oh, oh. Today is my Nanay(lola)'s birthday. Happy birthday Nanay. I really miss you. I wish you could've been around to see me now. I know I grew up strange, but I think you'll still be proud of me. I love you. <3 (P.S. please keep the mumu away. xD) She's the one who brought me up. Long story. Ayoko magdrama, sa totoo lang. I've been telling that story over and over, and every time I do, feeling ko may paawa effect. And I really don't like that people think I'm telling that story just because I want to be pitied on. Oh no, I hate being weak in everyone's eyes. I'm too tired of seen as someone who's weak. ANYHOO. I'm still recovering but I did a photoshoot today. And I have tons of photos to edit starting tomorrow. Tralala. I also wanna go to UST and attend class again. I'm so rusty. I wanna go to school just to do something creative. I MISS SCHOOL. 5:39:00 AM · 20100607 I just came back home from an Anvaya weekend with Dad's (high school) friends. Cool bunch of people. I finally met Tito Ipe's daughter, Phoebe. She's the only one my age in the house, and she was pretty cool. Too bad she's leaving for California at the end of the month. The trip was fun. It was drizzling, but I still enjoyed it very much (except for the beach. Water was too... murky.) I also had my follow up check-up today. My doctor wants to take my tonsils out asap. I'll be admitted at the UST Hospital on Thursday afternoon and she'll take 'em out on Friday afternoon. I'll be staying there 'til Sunday morning. I'm kinda excited. 12:30:00 AM · 20100531 Guess what, I'M SICK AGAIN So, yesterday I had my follow-up check-up with my favoritest favorite doctor. (She's all cute and bubbly and hyper. I like herrr. :3) Well, regarding my tonsils, turns out I need another week of antibiotics to clear up the remaining pus in my tonsils. Yuck, I know. How the hell that happened? Weather, pollution, and I don't know. Oh well. We have to take my tonsils out as soon as the infection clears up since it's pretty much recurring. The bacteria and virus could make its way down to my heart. Oh my poor heart, damaged by silly bacteria deciding to attack my tonsils. Really. I google-d everything up, and as my doctor told me, I could develop heart disease. As if random panic attacks and palpitations aren't enough. Really, I'm tired of being sick and unhealthy and weak. WEAK. :\| sigh So anyhoo, I'm excited. I wanna get my tonsils out and be better soon. Btw, the operation will be bloody. So I have to be ready for it. No more missing scheduled meds. No sweets for a month. Just water, water, and lots and lots of water. I'll be either at UST Hospital or Medical City (not sure which Medical City) prolly next week. I'll update after my third check-up. This also means I can't go jobhunting yet. I have to get better before I look for jobs. :( Money. 10:37:00 PM · 20100527 Hello almost lover, There's nothing more left to do but to trust the unknown. I am afraid. I admit that I am incredibly terrified. But what more can I do? I have to let go. I'll stay strong. But I'm not leaving. Not an inch. :) 5:18:00 AM ·